Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Day of changes

The air conditioner was installed yesterday and I must thank dear friends and neighbors Glenda and Don for taking care of it all!   It was wonderful to walk into a cool home and sleep well with this heat. Today is expected to be around 108...The Brother Alan will experience his first real hot weather. He arrives today around 12:30 and it will be about 3/4 of an hour before he is here, home. Then it will be off to visit with Denny. Today is the day that I make one of the hardest decisions in my life. Yesterday it became official that he was in Hospice care at the hospital. The blue butterfly placed on his door told everyone. We talked about whether he will be coming home or to a Hospice facility (the hospital has one across the street). The IM doctor reminded me that nurses are not around the clock at home and he is taking his med every hour by injection...which I cannot give. He can not swallow pills anymore. I do not make this decision lightly. Denny always said no hospital bed in his home for him. It really is a no brainer and I am told by Social Services and the RN and the IM that I should not feel guilty about this. But I do and at the same time I want what is best for him. Today is the day. I am told that because he is not eating and drinking the time is limited. I sit with him, I offer drink, he refuses if he answers at all. It is difficult for him to speak. More cards arrived yesterday for him...but he will not see them but I know they are here and I thank you for sending them. I thank you for caring and for the encouraging words. Please think of us today.

At Banner Boswell Hospital, a blue butterfly place outside the room on the door signifies that a patient is dying and is on Comfort Measures Only. Only the doctor covering and the RN enter the room and only for meds to keep the patient comfortable. It asks for respect for the patient and family.


31 comments:

Cindy said...

Hugs and prayers for you. So good that the Brother Alan will arrive today.

CalamityJr said...

Oh, Gracie. This post makes my heart hurt for you. I'll be thinking of you and praying that you'll stay strong and be blessed by some visits with Mr H that can bring you comfort during this difficult time. I'm so glad the Brother Alan was able to read between the lines and will be with you soon. God's blessings to all.

Debbie said...

On this day particularly you have our respect and love Gracie.

Starry-eyed stitcher said...

I am so glad that you have your lovely brother there to support you Gracie. Lean on him through this truly awful time. You seem to have done everything right for Denny throughout this final journey and I am sure you will continue to do so. Spend as much time with him as you can and tell him what's in your heart for he is surely feeling the same way even though the words are not there now. Lots of love Irene xx

Rose Marie Della Ventura said...

Such a difficult day, but know you are making the right decision. Dennis needs more care than you can give him. Sending prayers and hugs. So happy you will hv Dennis by your side.

Lynda Ruth Bowers said...

I have no words to say only I send my love to you and Dennis. I cried when I read this post.

Janice said...

The decision you make is the right one as you are doing what's best for Dennis. My heart is there with you. ...♡

Irene said...

Gracie, io ho vissuto la tua esperienza con mio padre. É stata la decisione più sofferta della mia vita e piango ancora oggi. Ti abbraccio forte forte e ti sono accanto con tutto il mio cuore.

Shelly said...

My thought and prayers are with you and Mr. H today. I'm sorry about the turn of events which have happened so fast and glad brother will be there soon. Take care, Gracie.

Lelia said...

hugs hugs, and more hugs

peggysue98 said...

Gracie been there twice with both my parents. Hospice is amazing people. My heart is breaking for you. Sending out hugs and prayers. Your joann family loves you!!!

Simple Pleasure said...

Sending you and Dennis love and continued prayers...
Patricia

Julie said...

Love and {big cuddle} xx

Ann at Beadlework. said...

Oh Grace, my heart goes out to you all the way from Scotland.

butterfly said...


I am so sorry gracie, sending you all our love with lots of hugs .
You are a very brave lady , my heart goes out to you both .
So happy your brother is coming today .

Cactusneedle said...

I have had the honor to care for several close family members and a dear friend through end of life. It is so hard when they stop eating and drinking. Cherish each moment - I know, you don't need to be told this. :)

Joanie said...

{{{{HUGS}}}} and prayers. Stay strong. God has you and Mr. H in the palm of His hand.

Vickie said...

Gracie, Gracie, my sweet friend. I read this post twice to be sure of what I read. Such quick turn of events. I am so sorry my friend. I am so glad you are together each day. God bless you both. I continue to pray.

Chookyblue...... said...

OMG Gracie...........such little time from him being fine and home with visitors and life is changing forever...........I am so pleased Brother Alan will be there with you today.......glad the air con is fixed so you can be comfortable to sleep when home.........

Lee said...

My prayers for you both are joining with all the others so glad your brother will be there to support you and help you be strong.

rosey175 said...

Oh, no, Grace! I just had a major catching up on your blog and my heart just goes out to you. I am glad Mr Brother is coming back out for you and Mr H.

All the fuzzy feelings possible for you all.

Stitching Cat said...

Gracie, I have no words. My heart goes out to you and Dennis. So thankful that the brother Alan will be there with you. I don't know you or Dennis, but feel a connection. Wondering if it is the Rhode Island connection? My grandmother lived in Harmony and I always felt that was home as we were an Air Force family. Hugs to you and Dennis.

C Reeder PhxAz said...

Prayers are daily for all of you. Brothers are so wonderful to have in times like these.

Jeanne said...

I have not been blogging in quite some time due to personal issues but have been trying to catch up with my blog Reading as it's been months and months since I read anything. I'm very sorry to read of your husband's illness Gracie and I'm sending caring thoughts to you. I know how very sad and stressful this is...God bless you both, I'll be adding you to my prayer list.

Leonore Winterer said...

Oh Gracie, my heart bleeds for you...I'm so glad your brother is coming, so you wan't have to face those things alone.

Ele said...

Gracie, I have no words. Sending you both my love. So glad your brother is coming

averyclaire.org said...

Oh Gracie...we have only recently met, but my heart is bursting with sadness and tears for you and Dennis! Please know I send my love and prayers across the country flying every minute for both of you! What a difficult road to travel. Hugs.

Mouse said...

I am truly sorry to hear of your news ((((hugs))) as I said before if you need to talk... just know I am here, just round the corner hopefully giving you some comfort at this time ...love mouse xxxx

cucki said...

Sending you hugs ..prayers and lots of love x

Terri said...

Many hugs and many prayers!!

Jo who can't think of a clever nickname said...

Oh Gracie, I'm so sorry this has escalated so quickly. I do hope the Hospice can keep him painfree and comfortable for as long as he has.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your feelings with us all. You know how much we care for you both. (((hugs)))