Oh such lazy days...slow mornings. It is amazing how we change. Not just with the day of week or month of year or even the weather. I certainly have changed... not by choice for the most part. When I lost My Denny, everything did change. In one of the previous posts I quoted from something that I recently read. I would like to share the entire piece.
"The death of a spouse or partner is different than other losses, in the sense that it literally changes every single thing in your world going forward. When your spouse dies, the way you eat changes. The way you watch TV changes. Your friend circle changes (or disappears entirely.) Your family dynamic/life changes (or disappears entirely). Your financial status changes. Your job situation changes. It effects your self-worth. Your self-esteem. Your confidence. Your mentality. Your brain function. (Ever hear the term "widow brain?". If you don't know what it is, count yourself as very lucky). Your physical body. Your hobbies and interests. Your sense of security. Your sense of humor. Your sense of womanhood or manhood. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. CHANGES. You are handed a new life that you never asked for and that you don't particularly want. It is the hardest, most gut-wrenching, horrific, life-altering of things to live with."
I share this not for "oh poor thing", no, just to share. I no longer get out of bed as soon as I wake...good thing. I no longer rush to do the laundry.... good thing. I am trying to learn how to do this or that and with some success... good thing. Being patient is not a strong point...not a good thing. Asking for help before trying when I know I need help... getting there. Some days are really good. I function at full level.... a good thing. Cooking meals.... good thing. Even getting gas for the car is easy now... good thing. I am so very lucky to have certain people in my life who care and check on me and help me, sometimes I do not have to ask for help. This weekend is the Faire that we, Denny and I went to for years. Last year I went for the first time alone. I admit it was hard. Driving there, shopping by myself.... but I did go and it was okay. I will go again and this time it will be easier. I will look for favorite crafts people. I guess what I want to share is that despite my off or hard days, I am doing well. I know the upcoming holidays will once again be difficult but I will be okay.
Thank you if you are still here visiting and reading. Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for being a friend. Off I go... the towels have finished swishing and now need fluffing.
"The death of a spouse or partner is different than other losses, in the sense that it literally changes every single thing in your world going forward. When your spouse dies, the way you eat changes. The way you watch TV changes. Your friend circle changes (or disappears entirely.) Your family dynamic/life changes (or disappears entirely). Your financial status changes. Your job situation changes. It effects your self-worth. Your self-esteem. Your confidence. Your mentality. Your brain function. (Ever hear the term "widow brain?". If you don't know what it is, count yourself as very lucky). Your physical body. Your hobbies and interests. Your sense of security. Your sense of humor. Your sense of womanhood or manhood. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. CHANGES. You are handed a new life that you never asked for and that you don't particularly want. It is the hardest, most gut-wrenching, horrific, life-altering of things to live with."
I share this not for "oh poor thing", no, just to share. I no longer get out of bed as soon as I wake...good thing. I no longer rush to do the laundry.... good thing. I am trying to learn how to do this or that and with some success... good thing. Being patient is not a strong point...not a good thing. Asking for help before trying when I know I need help... getting there. Some days are really good. I function at full level.... a good thing. Cooking meals.... good thing. Even getting gas for the car is easy now... good thing. I am so very lucky to have certain people in my life who care and check on me and help me, sometimes I do not have to ask for help. This weekend is the Faire that we, Denny and I went to for years. Last year I went for the first time alone. I admit it was hard. Driving there, shopping by myself.... but I did go and it was okay. I will go again and this time it will be easier. I will look for favorite crafts people. I guess what I want to share is that despite my off or hard days, I am doing well. I know the upcoming holidays will once again be difficult but I will be okay.
Thank you if you are still here visiting and reading. Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for being a friend. Off I go... the towels have finished swishing and now need fluffing.
