Day 8 and changes?

Hard to believe it has been one week since my world changed and our world got turned upside down. Denny did well after the chemo treatment and yesterday actually ate a little better. He is not a breakfast eater but now really needs to eat more. They suggest several...even every couple of hours to eat something and of course he must drink lots of liquids. The RN did a full assessment yesterday and he was given a great morning "wash up" by Daryrn...he was so kind and caring. After breakfast Denny walked 3 "laps" around the nursing center and then took a nap. Well, lets say spurt naps. They really are in to do this or that frequently. His left arm and hand are very swollen ( and still so very bruised) so much that we had to take his wedding band off and he felt bad about that. I got the ---do not loose it---be sure to put it safely away--- talk. I spoke with one of the councilors re: what to expect once home, finances, support system out of the hospital, food and germs. I keep notes and all the many piece of paper they hand me. Today may be discharge day. On my way home from the hospital I stopped at CVS to pick up my medication then off to Walmart. Did you know that some Walmart stores will be cutting back on certain products? It was then home to have something to eat. Last night was sanitize the bathroom that he will be using-- and only he will be able to use it. I picked up Clorox wipes to keep all around the house at their suggestion. Actually got a fairly decent sleep and now trying to get last minute things in order. As I look around I think we are set for him to be home. I have safety measures in place and a walker at the ready. Did I mention that we can not have flowers in the house? That bothers Denny a little as we always have flowers on the table and in the living room as well as all the beautiful plants he had ( yes had, as I managed to kill off a few) in the yard.  That will be the other change for him, no more yard work. He mentioned maybe we should get a puppy...he said for me. Have I mentioned that the Aquarium tenants left...down to one sole fish. He seems happy enough. Maybe a few of those floating glass fishes ...anyway, my wonderful friends, I am not going to finish my coffee and the washing machine has stopped so I will tend to that before getting off to see what the day holds. I feel your hugs and Dennis is so appreciative of all your kind words. I did finish another Affirmation Word but no picture yet. 

Day 7...

Goodness, today will be one week since Denny was admitted to hospital. What a week. Yesterday was his first Chemo. It definitely brought him some anxiety and concern and questions, especially after the oncology coordinator visit.  I know they need to prepare you for the what ifs, but it is down right scary. I think he is second guessing having treatment. Concern about the side effects, how much time does he have how many treatments. The alternative? I made it clear that everything concerning him is decision and his alone. She emphasized that I need to sanitize everything all the time, keep him away from anyone ill, no crowds, and on and on. Did you know there is a procedure for flushing the toilet when on Chemo? Having not dealt with Chemo patients, I had no idea of some of he things we will need to do to keep him safe. We have not a road to walk but a hill to climb and we will do it together. He made me laugh several times yesterday....and it felt good to see and hear his humor. They tell me to rest then come in and wake me. I told him I was going to the restroom and he told me to Toddle along little doggie... The CNA was in before each meal for blood check. She asked if she could take a sample, he rolls his eyes....it was good. In the afternoon he listened to a few NE Patriot player interviews on the tablet. He even tried to watch a movie but in they came several times so that ended that. Are you familiar with the Sherlock Holmes movies with Basil Rathbone ? He kept dismissing me like Sherlock would do to Mrs. Hudson.  A flip of the hand! Oh yes, it was good to see him this way and at the same time see him mentally in his own space. I usually stay until the evening meal. Last evening the CNA brought me a tray. When she left I said --- Oh honey how romantic that we can dine at Chez Boswell...he gave me  that look and rolled his eyes. Glad that day is over and now on to today,  Friday---has all this happened in one week? If all went well last night and today, he will be discharged this weekend. So, when I leave him tonight I will be off to Walmart for a supply of disposable gloves and lots of Clorox wipes. My finger will be crossed for a good day for Denny.  Right now, I think I will try to get a couple hours of nap time. Ooooh I just felt a hug...Thank you!
PS...I guess I should tell him the Doves are at it again...another nest and this time back in the wall planter.

Day 6 on day 6

 It has been an overwhelming day.  Denny called them, " a gang of people". Seems today was the day for all to want to stop in and talk. Oncology Doctor, Oncology Nurse, Cancer Society Navigator, and the IM Doctor....everyone had initials and something to say. Navigator, that was a new title to me. They direct you to the right path or person or agency...okay. The word cancer was said often we found out more about this illness that is taking a toll on my Denny. He finally asked if the chemo was going to fix this ( as in cure) and the doctor quietly said no. After everyone left Denny looked almost defeated and turned to me to say he was nervous and worried about me. How would I manage financially...how this and that. I asked him not to think or worry about that.  Finally it was decided to start chemo tomorrow ( Thursday ) and so up to the Oncology unit from the Cardiac unit he was going. I just got used to remembering he was even on the Cardiac unit. So, after dinner which the doctor finally consented to change to a regular diet, transport was arranged. Craig arrived to find Denny with severe dry heaves and not feeling very well at all. He patiently waited then took us upstairs. They greeted us and I explained that he was not doing well and he  (on cue ) started to dry heave again. Finally he seemed to settle and they came in to do the admissions to the floor. I brought to the RN's attention the rash that now is spreading and very red. Friends, I must say he is not looking well at all. I hated to leave him but I desperately needed to come home to settle myself and let him rest. I really feel scared and I know he is too. His T Cell Lymphoma is Stage 4 and we still await the tests complete results. Tonight sleep will not come easy if at all. My mind and heart are in overload. I know I can count on you to think of us and keep us in your prayers. Maybe, just maybe things will be okay tomorrow........goodnight........

It was day day 5 yesterday...I think

Oh my, I must have been as tired as I thought I was last night. I just woke and the clock said 6:22AM. Today my body aches...I fear it is the chair they call a recliner in the hospital! Long day yesterday. I arrived at 6 AM so I could accompany Denny for the procedure. At 7ish down we went to have the fluid drained and a transfusion for the blood cells. It was still a low count so this was necessary. They also put in the port. They explained all this but still I thought why all this? It was more real seeing this thing that would now become part of him. He did well, all took about one hour and right back to the room. Denny actually ate a little better for lunch and dinner. Did I mention this place is freezing? I swear I am going to be ill from the cold. The temp outside yesterday was 104, and 103 the day before and I emerge from the hospital wearing a sweater which is on all day! I think I am in a fog---just tried to pour milk into my coffee with the cap still on....oh dear, it is going to be another long day. We spoke with one of the doctors just before I left, actually I was already down in the main lobby when my phone rang asking me to return to talk with him. We reviewed the DNR--do not resuscitate policy. Always a pleasant thought. After the doctor left Denny was angry with me, said I asked too many questions. But if I do not ask who will? He does not so I must. One thing is for sure, I am glad of the  medical knowledge ( minimal as it is) I have. Dear DianeD sent me a PM with encouragement and a few questions. She is a long distance life line. All of you are so kind and caring. I know I can reach out and touch you. Right now though, I need to get myself together. The pond fish will be hungry and the plants refuse to drink water by themselves! I have to read my list to remember what I must take with me today once I find it. I think today will have some drama especially if the tests results are ready. it is already Wednesday....it is isn't it. So glad to have you all to talk with. 

News from Day 4

Yesterday brought a plan and then a change. Denny and I had a discussion about his tea...that is correct tea. I fixed it with sugar and creamers and he decided that I must have put or added salt! What??! I said it is your taste buds they are off...no it was the salt. The doctor came in and said that they were going ahead with the plan to drain fluid and insert a port for the chemo later in the afternoon. So it was off all flood and liquids to prepare. The port would also be used to draw blood as they were having great difficulty using veins now.  The afternoon passed and at 3:30 the RN said his platelet count was too low for any procedure so it would be on Tuesday for all to take place. She suggested that Denny order from the menu for evening meal and so he did. When it came to fixing the tea, I suggested he do it himself and handed him the sugar packets. After a few sips he said it tasted salty....this time, he did not say salt was added but that maybe I should bring him sugar form home and his English Breakfast tea. Good thing I could not whack him! Getting back to our day, it was a good rest day except for trips to the bathroom. It means unplugging the monitor, untangling the tubes and walking with the rolling pole. I now know how to get it all done ( of course with his supervision ) and then back to bed.  For a short time he was not his sweet self but rather grumpy and short tempered. I gave him "the knock it off" speech and things were much better.  On Sunday I had taken my Thursday Club stitching bag with me...

In the entire day this was all that I did. It is the Words of Affirmation from Donna at By The Bay Needleworks that I usually do when I join in the Thursday group. Everything that I need stays in the tote bag ready to go. Well, the next word on the list...Patient! How appropriate, he is and I need to be. This is where I left off yesterday (Monday)

Much more accomplished. I leave the tote bag there so it is one less thing to remember each morning. So today is an important day moving forward. We should have the rest of the test results and the port going in and possible coming home on Wednesday. If all goes well. We are so lucky to have all of you sending hugs and good thoughts and wishes. Lucky too that the staff are caring and patient and attentive. It is still scary trying to learn more and keeping my list and notes. AI am not sure how Denny will react to having this port but it certainly will eliminate the need to finding veins. Hope too that they switch him to oral meds for the blood clot and not have to inject himself in the abdomen...you know I can not do it. I think I will try to catch a couple of hours more sleep. He asked me to be there before they take him for the procedure which means I will be arriving at 6 AM instead of 8. Your kind words and encouragement keep me going. I feel the hugs and kisses that you have sent.  I will leave you with this

We still hold hands when we walk together and even just because. These two hands rest on a hospital bed.

Yesterday---Day 3

How do I say how much all of you mean to me? Impossible! Yesterday was a day with more information but no answers yet. Denny slept well in the new room...a private room without noise or distractions; except for the constant monitoring. I think I had left my brain and power of deduction at home yesterday. I had been in the new room for a couple of hours when I left to use the restroom down the hall. As I was walking back and turned the corner to his wing I saw a bulletin board. I decided to stop and read. It talked about quiet time and that the lights around the nurses station would be dimmed  from 2-4 and then again later, and noise kept at a minimum. All doors to the room would remain closed. The unit is quiet to begin with and I think there are only 12 or so patients there. Then the next bulletin board posted about heart disease and heart failure. Still not really reading in my mind. The last board is the white erasable that lists all the room and the patients. The title is Cardiac...what? I turned and caught the eye of one of the nurses. I asked if this was a cardiac unit and with a very surprised and concerned look she replied --yes your husband is here on a cardiac unit. I know she thinks I am an idiot. When I went back to his room there was another clue to this new revelation...on the board in his room it says Cardiac. Tell me, where had my eyes been the entire time I was on the unit and in his room?! Well, I will tell you my eyes were and remain on my Denny....I know sounds corny, but that is a fact. I had great communications all day with his RN. She continually shared information. Every turn seems to be something else. Denny is and always has been a very quiet easy going guy. The doctor came in and I think some realization has hit my guy. The word cancer strikes some fear as does Chemo treatments. We expect to have the tests results, or some of them today (day 4) and then a plan of treatment. They are still having trouble getting blood drawn and he is now on blood thinners because of the blood clot so he is bleeding easily form his IV site. That has to be watched very closely. He is still on IV fluids and now 2 antibiotics. Denny had to go down for more tests and told me to come with him so of course I did. When we  waiting I asked if he was worried and if that was why he asked me to be there...."no, I want to be with you"--- I am glad his eyes were closed because mine were tearing. I did see a spark of his old self a couple of times yesterday...He asked me to give him an Imitrex because his headache was back. Of course I said that we would ask the RN; his reply was "stop following the rules." Every time someone wants to draw blood he rolls his eyes and announces that they just want to poke him.  My list of questions will be ready today when the doctor returns with results. One of us has to ask and since Denny seems to close up I will be his voice. On a lighter note: There were a couple of cards in the mail so  I will bring them to cheer him. I remembered that his fish in the pond had not been fed since Wednesday or Thursday so that was first on the home list. The Dove family is still lingering in the yard. They seem to enjoy sitting under the gazebo. I did remember to water the garden in the morning. I picked 3 tomatoes. I am having trouble sleeping. I sleep in short spurts and that is why at 2 AM I am posting. It is not for lack of being tired, just that my guy is not here....the house is too quiet. 

Mr H Day 2 update

Yesterday was not a good day. Oh Dennis is as he was----- it was the phone call from him at 7 AM that started the day. He had a migraine from Friday night and they had not yet given him an Imitrex.  Well, now that will not do. So dressed and off to see what happened. When he was admitted they took the list of his medications so why is this a problem? The admitting doctor did not sign off on the Imitrex. I stood at the nursing station and insisted that they call the doctor to get it sign off....after a few calls it was and then Dennis finally received the med. Okay let's move on. The roommate that he had...key word here is had.....seemed nice but never spoke to us. When sharing a room you really need to be considerate. Sharing space is suppose to be just that, shared space. It means your TV or radio should be at a quiet level, talking on the phone should be  not a loud conversation and oh yes, you and your wife do not need to each be on your separate phones having loud conversations at the same time for an hour. The man was in for a kidney stone which was removed on Friday night and was feeling, in his words, really good. Here we have Denny not feeling good at all. I spoke to the RN.   As I was standing there with the RN, a transporter arrived and said he was there to escort Denny for tests.....to Cardiovascular Ultrasound. The nurse said he did not have an order for this so as he was checking it popped up in the computer. Darrel arrived that quickly. I joined in and one half hour later back to the room. They found a Critical DVT..... a blood clot behind his left knee. A new concern to deal with. The RN came in to explain about the injection and before I could faint (did I mention I do not like needles) he gave Denny an injection in the abdomen. My poor guy never flinched and stated he could do this if need be when he went home. I asked the RN and CNA to stop by the room on my way out to hear for themselves B bed and his choice of evening  telecast and they understood. Well, off I go to come home to do laundry and eat when the phone rings. The hospital calling to say they have moved Denny off the unit to private room. The floor he was on does not have private rooms. Who knew? Okay...so now can I eat? Goodness me, what do I find in the fridge but a lovely piece of steak that I had put on the bottom of the fridge to thaw on Friday morning! Now what? This is something that Mr H always cooks. After some fretting and then remembering how he does cook our steak, I pan seared it and then into the oven and it was delicious. Getting into the swing of cooking I am. Pat my back I did! Off to bed early I went and now here it is 3 AM and I am up and needing a cup of tea. I tried tatting yesterday so that did not work well with all the interruptions, so today it will be cross stitch. I really want to say thank you for the love and caring words for Denny and me. My long time friend and RN, Diane D in Rhode Island, is an Oncology nurse and is helping to explain things as I need. Long distance but nevertheless, there for the help. We have known one another since 1979 or so....long time indeed. What will today, day 3 hold? Whatever it is, I am ready and with all the love and encouragement Denny and I will handle it. One step at a time. I will be there to run interference and to ask questions and to reach out for those hugs and support when I need to. Thank you my dear friends for all the hugs because we do feel them. Thank you too for your opinions and encouragement because I really appreciate you. Maybe there will be a stitching picture soon....maybe.