Looking ahead but looking back

I look at this rose from the flowers Lu and Stan sent...I see such beauty but also deep thought. The lavender of this rose is more beautiful than this picture shows.....A new month today and I am trying to look ahead and move forward. Not yet my mind tells me....looking back is preferred. So many wonderful memories of times long ago and also in the not too past. Forgetting the most recent memories because they are too painful. I know that they are also important but I must file them away for now so that I can move forward because I must move forward. All that I could take care of has been done and now it is a waiting game of sorts for things to fall into place and until they are all in place I remain in this limbo. This morning I looked out to the yard and thought ---- oh my, Denny would have a conniption if he looked out here. The trash barrel is in view, debris not yet swept up and disarray everywhere. then I remind myself that it is just too hot to deal with it.  I could go out at 6 am to clean but not enough ambition yet to do this. No, instead I will lazily putt about the house stopping in between the straightening up and my needlework. I remembered how to use the stereo system so maybe some music for company. I guess I did pay attention when he showed me. Still have one phone receiver not working...someone suggested it may need a battery. I thought we had an extra battery someplace. So many things I still have to figure out or find. A bright note, yesterday a hummingbird came to the new feeder....and he has been there a few times this morning again.

It is just outside the kitchen window so I can easily see it. The other 2 are still in place, one in the Sweet Memory tree in the backyard and the other out the front living room window. I do have to move the new one and hang it higher and out of the mid-day sun. That will require the ladder, a drill and a hook as well as "s'' hook extensions which will be a ride to Ace or Home Depot and that is not today. Time for my coffee and corn muffins just out of the oven. Thank you for stopping by and for your kind words, emails and cards. Most of all thank you for the caring friendship that you share with me.

New tenants

While out on an errand yesterday I stopped at Petco and found these guys

the silver trio with a black mark...they are called Rasbora and are schooling fish. That means that they will swim in a group---together.... like you see them in the picture. Yesterday however, they were all over the place and never once together and I though oh no misfits! Today for the most part they stay in the group except for one who goes off on its own at times. I also picked up another Red Wag Platy to keep the other one company. Now we shall see if they like their accommodations.  A surprise ringing of the back door bell brought another beautiful Bromeliad...

Friend Joan from RI sent it...look at the vibrant yellow and orange. Now we  I have 2 and I will be so happy if they survive...although my record with house plants is far better than the garden as we know. I forgot to mention my Crying Hankie

When Dianna was here the other day she handed me this beautiful hankie and told me to tuck it into my handbag and when I need to cry to wipe the tears with this. It has embroidery, cutwork and a tatted edge....all of my loved needlework. Each of the 3 corners is also detailed. The other night when we lost electricity, it seems to have caused one of my telephones (a set of three) to no longer work. It keeps messaging out of range. I have tried almost everything...next step just may be into the trash. I am multi-tasking right now...yes, blogging, but also a laundry and deep cleaning the coffee maker...hate that smell of vinegar! I thought abut continuing the yard clean up but today is not the day and it may be a few more before I feel like getting out there early before the heat. Not too bad this morning,  in the high 80s but heading for 109 later today. The Dove family is doing fine....he will be leaving as soon as she arrives which should be anytime now. Which is my cue to leave the blogging world to finish the coffee maker and grab the laundry  mop the kitchen floor and make the bed.....sounds like I will be busy this morning. Thank you for visiting with me and for the kind words and most of all for your friendship. One day at a time......

Maternity ward once again open

I am loosing count of the Mourning Dove nests but there is another one....

back on the wall clock. In all the 12 years in this home we have never had this many nesters in one year. I have not really paid too much attention so I do not know when the nest was completed so delivery date is unknown...I did notice that more of the sphagnum moss form the front door display has been missing. The pond finally has it's lily pads..

Pretty...plastic lily pads for shade and hiding for the fish. In this picture they do not look very large but trust me they are. They are doing okay but I still need to vac out some algae. Luckily they do not mind it. This Fall I will replace the covering over the pond as this one is tattered and faded from the heat and sun. (you can see the reflection in the pond). 

The Words of Affirmation project has some progress.....

it is a working layout and I am still gathering embellishments. All the stitching of the words to the backing and the embellishments will be by hand. The backing will be by machine. Today I will look through the bead cabinet to find what I need want to add. Denny loved turquoise and I do have some. At 3 O'clock this morning I did the final trimming on the words so it is ready to go.  Today I will be making some hummingbird food for my new feeder....

my caring friend Dianna Lynn visited on Tuesday and she bought one for herself as well as for me. I will keep the other 2 where they hang and this will go right outside my kitchen window. It is a double decker....and because the perches are so pliable the woodpecker and house finches can not should not be able to land on it....but who knows. the first of the Denny Angels has gone home with  Dianna... there are more to make and give away. One will go on the Words banner and one for my tree...and....who knows where they will be flying off to. They have strong wings. I have strong wings....Yesterday was the first time that I was out and about. I had a follow-up with our PCP since the high blood pressure problem and all is good. The Office staff lead by Debbie, CNA Amber and dear Dr Mohan were sad and missing Dennis by my side and they all signed a lovely card personally noted by each of them. I also brought the magazines to the pain management doctor, Dr Paul who told me that he really liked Dennis and would miss him. I have been comforted by so many caring friends. Cards have arrived and even some gifts...

The vase of roses (they are gorgeous) is from Lu and Stan back in RI, the bromeliad is form Robyn and David across the courtyard, the feeder and a lovely "crying " hankie from Dianna, and a lovely dragonfly pin from Glenda and Don.Thank you all---- here and near and far away for caring and thank you for the loving and kind words. Your true friendship means so very much to me. 

Halos and electricity

Well....at 10:55 PM exactly there was a pop noise outside and all went dark inside. Of course I knew there was a flash light in the bedroom as well as one in the kitchen but to get to either of them without causing a catastrophe. Found the one in the bedroom and lighted my way to kitchen. At first I though it was just my house but when I glanced out the window it was everywhere around me. As the time ticked by I figured any minute there will be light. Forget the movie because it was over by now. The sound of the kitchen clock ticking let me know that it was not happening soon. Plan was to just fall asleep and all would be right in the morning. Certainly I thought so. Sleep was not that easy. I kept waking to see if the electricity was back on.  Finally at 8:03 AM ta-da...on came the lights and the TV and the air conditioner and the refrigerator...the fridge...there was water dripping between the freezer door and the fridge door. I do not plan to peek inside just yet....The pond fountain is working and the aquarium pump is flowing so that is good enough for now. As for the halos...

the two angels are now complete...their halos ae not as the pattern called for but rather what I wanted to do....their skirts are trimmed with

beads. I do not think I will starch them. They are ready to travel to someone's home and maybe to a Christmas tree. This are what I made while sitting with my Denny those last days. I had made a couple a few months back and he really liked them and suggested that I make some to give away....so these are with his thoughts. I have one more to finish and I plan to add colored beads to the bottom of that skirt. Feeling pretty good that I finally accomplished something creative yesterday. Maybe I am moving forward instead of sitting still. I made a few more of the necessary phone calls yesterday and so that list is dwindling.  So much to still do in that area but one day at a time and it will get done. Sounds good doesn't it. I no longer have a norm for my day so I will just adjust to what is now. How can I ever thank you all enough for the loving, kind encouragement and most of all your friendship. You are truly the helping force for me.....Although my heart is aching and my eyes are tearful, my heart is full....💔

It's the little things

Yesterday while outside dealing tending to the pond, I found myself thinking Denny would tell me that I was feeding them wrong...he often said ....now tell me, how is dropping pellets into the water wrong?  Anyway, I plopped them down and the fish as usual just ignored me.  My thought is if they eat they will survive, if not , oh well.  Just those little things that pop into my head.  As I cooked the ravioli for my dinner I could hear Denny say "save some of the pasta water like Lidia does" (Bastianich).  While watering the few plants in the garden that still are alive he would say be sure to give them enough...those little things he would say.  In the afternoon we would watched a movie and it would always be my choice, well he would offer 2 and then I would pick one.  There have been no movies in the afternoon for awhile now...maybe I should start to choose 2 to find one...those little things.  Whenever I sat to do needlework he would ask "what are you working on" even as he was in the hospital he would ask.  He always took great interest in what I was creating.  He thought there was nothing that I could not do with my needles.  I have not picked up the needlework since that next day.  Today I promise myself to finish those angels...no one is asking.... those little things.  I did finish the last of the Affirmation Words...

This project has been so helpful in this difficult time.  Each word was so appropriate. He approved each word as it was finished at the hospital.  It will be finished in his memory for Denny and me.  I have to believe my Denny is finally at peace.  His last day was not and I could do nothing to help him.  Now I wait for me to find some peace.....