Trying to stay srtong

I must say that these monsoon storms are really rattling me. Last night we had not signs of any and that was fine by me. When Denny was here he enjoyed the storms and I always thought if something happens he is here. The winds during the monsoon season are quite strong and the area around me had some tree branch losses and even half of a large tree came down across the way from me.

The drain from the new air conditioner has actually moved about 8 inches so they will be out Wednesday morning to check it. The yellow arrow is where it was and the red where it is now. Today it is very humid so the pond vacuuming will have to wait until early tomorrow morning. Inside tasks: the kitchen floor washed, the laundry done , oven on self clean and the house plants watered. Just need to check on the Lantana in the backyard. With all the rain it may not need any water today.
Today the word is  Strong.

To the very end Denny was so strong. He wanted me to be strong and although basically I am a strong person, it is difficult to be so now.  It seems everyone tells me how strong I am. I just received a card and note from a former employer which took me by surprise. We have not spoken or seen each other for almost 16 years. She wrote "You have always been a strong woman", thank you Mrs P. for thinking of me. The yellow rose there in the picture is for me from me to Denny. I love yellow roses and he always gave them to me. A simple border of lace along the top of the word because being strong does not mean you can not be soft too. Denny was strong but a softy....
It is great to visit with you. Thank you for the kind words and your friendship. Let's have a good day.

PS there are a few of you that I do not have your email so I can respond to your comments....I do not have Google+ ... if you do, please send me your email.... 

Day of changes

The air conditioner was installed yesterday and I must thank dear friends and neighbors Glenda and Don for taking care of it all!   It was wonderful to walk into a cool home and sleep well with this heat. Today is expected to be around 108...The Brother Alan will experience his first real hot weather. He arrives today around 12:30 and it will be about 3/4 of an hour before he is here, home. Then it will be off to visit with Denny. Today is the day that I make one of the hardest decisions in my life. Yesterday it became official that he was in Hospice care at the hospital. The blue butterfly placed on his door told everyone. We talked about whether he will be coming home or to a Hospice facility (the hospital has one across the street). The IM doctor reminded me that nurses are not around the clock at home and he is taking his med every hour by injection...which I cannot give. He can not swallow pills anymore. I do not make this decision lightly. Denny always said no hospital bed in his home for him. It really is a no brainer and I am told by Social Services and the RN and the IM that I should not feel guilty about this. But I do and at the same time I want what is best for him. Today is the day. I am told that because he is not eating and drinking the time is limited. I sit with him, I offer drink, he refuses if he answers at all. It is difficult for him to speak. More cards arrived yesterday for him...but he will not see them but I know they are here and I thank you for sending them. I thank you for caring and for the encouraging words. Please think of us today.

At Banner Boswell Hospital, a blue butterfly place outside the room on the door signifies that a patient is dying and is on Comfort Measures Only. Only the doctor covering and the RN enter the room and only for meds to keep the patient comfortable. It asks for respect for the patient and family.

We're having a heat wave....

an Arizona heat wave....Were are in a Heat Advisory for this week and of course it is the week the air conditioner chose to fail and now this afternoon, a crew will be installing a new on. Right now we are at 86 and it may reach 107....can not even imagine being on the roof for 3 hours or more. I spoke with the IM yesterday...a very compassionate lady who does not want Dennis home until the house is safe...safe with air conditioning; so Tuesday will be the day. Yesterday was a very emotional day for both Denny and me. I tried to keep busy with my word for the day and did stitch Blessed.

It was the next word in the Affirmation Words project from Donna at By The Bay Needleart project. At first it was hard to think of why to stitch this word. Then I could find many reasons to feel blessed. So many who care enough to express their concern and love for us at this time. The phone call yesterday after messaging back and forth from "my cousin Frankie"...that is how Denny always refers to his cousin Frank back in RI. Frank just wanted to talk for a minute to Denny so I held the tablet ( I did not know we could talk over the tablet but that is for another day) and once hearing his voice it became apparent of the long distance affection these two men have for one another. Frank sent encouraging words.....When I could not hold it together after that' one of the RNs was there to give me a hug.....yes, we are blessed to have so many people caring for us. then later this arrived via email

niece Elyssa sent this Dragonfly...it is made with prints from Natalia's little feet.....and a letter accompanied it that will be very emotional for Denny...her Godfather. Both of these will become cherished items for many years to come. Indeed it was a very emotional day and I am blessed with so much during this difficult time. One more day and The Brother Alan will be here to help me get organized...I know, I am a very organized gal. Right now though I need some direction so the little big brother will help set things in motion. He will be here for the week. I made a nice cup of tea this morning to find that the milk was bad...I instead am having a tall glass of iced water which considering the heat today is a better idea...get hydrated and stay hydrated.  Have you tried the water drinks with veggies...like cucumber....I did, not bad. I think I will stick with lemon in my water. Oh wait, I do not have any lemons...guess it will be plain water today. So, on to the day with thank you to all of you my dear friends for the kind and encouraging words. Most of all thank you for your friendship. I will carry the loving thoughts form all of you today.