Saturday, May 20, 2017

Feeling lost

Oh I had such plans for my post Thursday...but did not post.  Then I thought, okay it will be Friday's post about the 2 hats and Grover. The Brother Alan and Lisa left their cowboy hats here with Grover and where I will be looking at them all year until the next visit.
It cheered me to see them in the sewing/guest room. They will still cheer me now. Toward the end of their visit, Dennis ( and I ) were facing some health issues. He was not feeling well at all and we did see the doctor. Alan left and we had tests. Just as the results were back things changed. My dear Dennis is now in hospital and more tests have revealed that his has Lymphoma. How far is it, where is it and what to do next are the questions swirling around my head. I am numb. Dennis has not asked any questions nor said anything. I am coward and do not prompt him for any. It was hard to leave him at the hospital last evening but I felt so drained and needed to eat and try to sleep. I guess it was 11 Pm when I dozed off and have now been awake since 2:30 AM wondering what to do. What do I say when I go back this morning and he is more alert after being medicated and poked and prodded yesterday. They took 9 vials of blood late yesterday for yet more tests and by my count that made 14 in all. They were trying to keep his blood pressure up as it was extremely low when we arrived there at 10:30 AM. It was 5 1/2 hours in the ER before the going for biopsies and then almost 2 hours later before joining me in his room. Please do not think I am complaining but I just need to vent....to at least write what is difficult to say out loud. I know that you will listen and I know that you care. We bloggers are a great group.  My blog which has been my stitching and doings place will for now be my place to vent....I am not answering my telephone as I can not speak the words. Somehow it is easier to write them than to hear them. The Horton House is so quiet....maybe a little more sleep before starting my day.

22 comments:

Joanie said...

I will pray for both you and Dennis. My heart hurts for you. Please get some rest and do some stitching. God is in control.

averyclaire.org said...

OH MY...what a trying time. Please know that I will be praying for both of you for peace, healing, and miracles! Hugs!

Janice said...

My sweet cousin....never apologize for sharing your feelings. It's shocking news and you're reacting as anyone would at such news. Next step is to be by his side later telling him you are with him through thick and thin....and let him know there are many many prayers being lifted up for him and yourself as well. It's scary facing the unknown, I know, but you'll see a deeper source of strength you didn't realize you had till its needed and you need it now. I'm here for you....

Debbie said...

Sending a big hug to you and prayers.
When you return to the hospital this morning, be yourself...tell Mr. H how much you love him. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of Mr. H.
take care

Vickie said...

Oh Gracie. My heart is with you both. I am praying for you both.

cucki said...

My dear I am praying for you both
Sending you big hugs and love x

Vonna Pfeiffer said...

Gracie, I am praying for Mr. H. My heart is following you...

Brigitte said...

My heart goes out to you and Dennis, and my thoughts will be with you.

Lynda Ruth Bowers said...

I am praying for you both. Big, Big hugs and love coming your way.

Shelly said...

Sometimes it's better to write what you're feeling than it is to vocalize. With that being said, we are all here for you. My thoughts are with you both at this time.

Vicki said...

I am praying for you and Dennis, Gracie. I live right down the road - if there's anything I can do, please let me know.

Unknown said...

You both are in my prayers & in the prayers of my mother(she's 84), prayer partner & prayer group. I so enjoy your blog & "brothers" visit & guest post
May our Lords peace be upon
you​ & Mr H.
Blessings,
Baa

Jo who can't think of a clever nickname said...

You know we are all thinking of you both and hoping Mr H will soon come home again. (((hugs)))

Simple Pleasure said...

Dearest Gracie,
You and Dennis will remain in my thoughts and prayers... I am hoping you will be able to find some peace with your needlework. Feel free to post your thoughts, we are all hear to listen and offer comfort.
Warmest regards,
Patricia

shirley flavell said...

Gracie what a shock to get news of that nature. You will be numb as will Dennis, but an inner strength will surface and you will support Dennis and be there every step of the way.In a couple of days you will know what questions to ask and what treatment is required.Dennis will get treatment which will be a fairly long road but you will get through it. Thinking of you both and best wishes. Hugs from N.Z. Shirley

CalamityJr said...

Praying for you both, as well as the doctors and other medical staff. Never hesitate to share here; blogging friends seem to be some of the best we'll ever have and everyone will be caring for you.

Kathy H said...

Praying for you both. Hope tomorrow will bring some better news.

Ele said...

Thinking of you both
Big hugs

Tiffstitch said...

Oh my goodness, that is a lot of news, and not the good kind. My thoughts are with you and try and get some sleep and take care of you too while taking care of Dennis.

Chookyblue...... said...

sending lots of love and hugs........

Julie said...

Love and {hugs} to you both xxx

Terri said...

Prayers and hugs for you both!